When seeking to understand what God’s standard is in the area of sexuality,
or any area, it’s important to first recognize that
the way people act in the Bible often does not reflect God’s
standard. We need to look at the standard that God set forth
before looking at the examples of people. More times than
not the “religious leaders” in the Bible were
the worst examples. To the one group of Jewish religious leaders
who thought they were following God’s standard better
than anybody else, Jesus said, "Woe to you, teachers
of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed
tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside
are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the
same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous
but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”
(Matthew 23:27-28)
Perhaps the best place to start when trying to understand
God's standard for human sexuality is what God said at the
beginning when He created man and woman. When the religious
leaders of Jesus' day asked Jesus about divorce that is exactly
where He took them: “Some Pharisees came to Him to test
Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce
his wife for any and every reason?’ ‘Haven't you
read,’ He replied, ‘that at the beginning the
Creator made them male and female, and said, For this reason
a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer
two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let
man not separate.’” (Matthew 19:3-6) Becoming
“one flesh” inherently involves two people. Sexual
relations with more than one person results in becoming something
like a fraction of “one flesh” with each person.
One might argue that becoming “one flesh” is
subjective and open to a wide range of interpretations, but
a careful look at the Old Testament Mosaic Law that God gave
Israel and universal principles in the New Testament make
it clear that any sex outside marriage violates God’s
moral standard. As a side note, it’s important to recognize
that the moral standard that God gave us is not designed to
inhibit us, but rather it is designed to preserve us and help
us enjoy life! At face value sin may seem attractive and liberating,
but in the end it lowers the quality of life. In the words
of Dr. Armond Nicolai from Harvard Medical School, as he spoke
about the ramifications of sex becoming more and more separated
from family emotional commitment: "The quality of family
life will continue to deteriorate, producing a society with
a higher incidence of mental illness than ever before…
This illness will be characterized by a lack of self-control.
We can expect the assassination of people in authority to
be frequent occurrences. Crimes of violence will increase,
even those within the family; and the suicide rate will rise
as sexuality becomes more and more unlimited and separated
from family emotional commitment..."
Under the Mosaic Law that God gave to the nation of Israel,
a man having sex with an unmarried woman was essentially the
same as the man entering a legal agreement to marry the woman:
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married
and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price [dowry],
and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses
to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for
virgins. (Exodus 22:16-17) Regarding God’s standard
for married people, one needs to look no further than the
10 Commandments: “You shall not commit adultery.”
(Exodus 20:14)
One might point to Solomon who had 700 wives as an example
of God’s acceptance of free sex, but in reality this
was in violation of the instructions that God gave the kings
of Israel: “He must not take many wives, or his heart
will be led astray.” (Deuteronomy 17:17) What God warned
about is exactly what happened; one of Solomon’s main
downfalls was the influence that his myriad of wives had on
him (1 Kings 11:4). Incidentally, Solomon also violated God’s
instructions regarding gold and silver: “He must not
accumulate large amounts of silver and gold.” (Deuteronomy
17:17)
While the civil law of the Old Testament was only meant for
Israel, the New Testament upholds the same moral standard
about sexuality. The New Testament repeatedly talks about
the sin of “sexual immorality”; and while the
Greek word pornea which is often translated “sexual
immorality” is a general term that can mean a wide variety
of practices, there are instances where it is clear that it
is talking about any kind of sex outside of marriage. For
example, 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (KJV, NKJV) speaks of “it
is good for a man not to touch a woman” as a safeguard
against “sexual immorality” (the ideal of “not
to touch a woman” is far from getting as close as possible
without actual intercourse), and because of “sexual
immorality” this passage states that it is better to
marry than stay single, thus implying that marriage is the
only safe place for sexual expression. Later in the same chapter,
in verse 8, it speaks of the need for the sexual sanctuary
of marriage due to the lack of sexual “self-control”
outside of marriage.
Under the strict Mosaic Law of the Old Testament that God
gave Israel, because of the destructive nature of adultery,
the consequence for it was the death penalty! (Leviticus 20:10)
The laws of the Old Testament were designed in part to preserve
Israel as a nation so that they would fulfill their purpose
of bringing the Messiah into the world. Once He was born,
in many areas God’s grace replaced the condemnation
of the law. The moral law stayed the same, but God gave more
grace to help us follow it. For example, when the religious
leaders of Israel brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus
and asked Him if she should be executed according to the Old
Testament law, Jesus replied, “He who is without sin
among you, let him throw a stone at her first." (John
8:7) This passage goes on to explain, “And again He
stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard
it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one,
beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was
left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus
had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said
to her, ‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has
no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’
And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go
and sin no more.’ Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying,
‘I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall
not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.’”
(John 8:8-10)
A general principle of the New Testament is that in all areas
of life there are often situations where just because something
“feels” right does not mean that it is right.
This disconnect between our felt needs and God’s moral
standard is a result of the disease of sin that we inherited
from the first two people that God created. While the result
of Adam and Eve’s sin is bad news, the result of what
Jesus Christ did for us is good news – the word “gospel”
means “good news”! When we trust in Christ for
the forgiveness of our sins, our spirit is healed of this
disease of sin. While our spirit is healed the moment we place
our trust in Christ, our body will be plagued with the disease
of sin until the day that we receive new bodies in heaven.
Turning from the desires of our body, our “flesh”
as it is called in the Bible, and instead following the desires
of the spirit is called “taking up our cross”
– Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after
Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and
follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose
it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For
what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and
is himself destroyed or lost?” (Luke 9:23-26)
